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The Sexy Shoe & Pedicure Pledge

Alright People. Spring 2011 is here and you can't hide your toes.  Have you seen the sexy open toe Spring shoes styles?  Here's some help for my sexy shoes divas out there!  Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Sexy People (Divahood), I pledge to follow the rules when I wear  the  latest fashion open-toe shoes, especially when I'm on vacation:

I promise to always wear open toe shoes (even during the cold weather season) and sandals that fit. My toes or toenails will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will buff nails to a high shine, go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will keep my Acrylic Toe Nails maintained regularly. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe, nor will I put off my toe fill because I wear acrylic toe nails for another week, two or three.

I will purchase a professional callous remover and sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.  I will purchase a 'Ped Egg', (Don't buy the cheap one!) to help out between pedicures. I will either shave or have my technician wax the hairs off my big toe(s).

I won't wear toe in pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, super glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it and buy new a pair. (Ever heard of TJ Max?)

I will not live in yellow corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend the professional pedicurist and Dr. Scholl's when my feet need them.

I will resist the urge to buy pleather shoes  (closgs too!) at Payless for the low, low price of $7.99 or the Dollar Store...Even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and twiist or break my ankle trying to be cute and frugal.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages. It's not attractive at all.

If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, (Foot Soup is a magical blend of aromatherapy oils, sea salts, and other moisturizers. Soak your feet in it, lay back and say 'aahhh'.) I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, sister, brother, family members and coworkers when they ask me if their feet are TOO UGLY to wear open toe shoes or sandals. Someone has to tell them that their toes are as long as my fingers and no open shoe or sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops they will not be chewed up and dirty, no matter how comfortable they are. I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slip around in, slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my professional pedicure (Real professionals don't us credo blades - They are ILLEGAL!) service provider at least once a month year round and enjoy an honest and true professional spa pedicure. (They are about $35 - $60 and worth EVERY darn penny). I work hard and I deserve nothing less. Besides a great spa pedicure with a glass of wine at the end of the day is the next best thing to massage or sex for that matter.

 
I will promise to throw away any white/off-white open toe shoes or sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals. Don't keep this to yourself - pass it, better yet email this on to other fellow associates.

Remember...Ignorance is not bliss!

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Thank you,

LéVonne